Once the initial lusty fires of a new relationship begin to dampen to a comfortable glowing ember, sex can become a little routine and, dare I say it, boring.
However, it doesn’t have to be.
In fact, sex in a stable, long-term relationship can be far better than anything experienced in those angst-filled first times. Let’s face it, none of us, men or women, are comfortable when we have sex for the first time with a new lover. There are concerns over what your body looks like and whether your ‘performance’ will be up to scratch, and that’s just for starters.
These first night jitters fade away, and we might not be left with the same burning lust, but, with a bit of luck, you’re left feeling much more comfortable about nudity in front of your lover, you trust him and you’re no longer concerned over whether or not you can ‘please’ him. All of this is a recipe for better sex! So, take advantage of the fact that you feel comfortable with your lover and add a little spice to your sex life.
1. Playtime is Not Just for Kids
One of the great things about being in a long-term ‘comfy’ relationship, is that you can laugh together about sex. Lusty passion is great, but it tends to make sex a very serious affair. There’s nothing wrong with a bit of ‘fun and laughter’. So, be playful with sex. Get some edible body paints, come up with your own sexy games (strip Trivial Pursuit is one of mine – you’re welcome to borrow it) or invest in some toys.
2. Don’t Wait Until After Dark
Remember those early weeks of romance, when you couldn’t keep your hands off each other? Reenact those heady days by having sex during daylight hours. You might have to schedule a time when you can be together, but that’s fine. In fact, planning it might add some extra excitement, because it allows for anticipation to build.
3. Discuss Some of Your Fantasies
Now that you know you can trust your lover, you’re probably more willing to bare your soul to him. So, why not share some of those long held fantasies and ask him to tell you some of his. Just talking about each other’s sexual fantasies will be a huge turn-on, but you might also find that there are some things you’d both like to explore. Of course, as you and your partner are comfortable with each other, there is less danger of him pressuring you into doing something you don’t want to.
When it comes to spicing up your sex life, with games and fantasies, it’s wise to remember that this is the benefit of a long-term relationship. Whipping out the sex toys during the first time, isn’t really an option – unless you’ve discussed it beforehand. In addition, sharing your most intimate fantasies can only really be done with a partner you love, trust and feel comfortable with. So, remember those passionate early days with great fondness, but bear in mind that the best, may very well, be yet to come!
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